89.6 kg

Andras Beck
September 4th, 2019

Today is a milestone for me. This is the first time in 11 years that I weight less than 90kg.

Back in 2007, I was somewhere around 81kg (+/-1) when the sh*t hit the fan in the family, and I fell into depression. Sport activities almost stopped right away in November of 2007, and I switched to eat junk food.

I had some money as inheritance, so it wasn’t a real issue for 2,5 years, but my health was deteriorate fast – and I’ve put on 32kg of fat in 2 years.

It was very hard to snap out of the depression my mother’s suicide caused (the underlying cause was more than her suicide, but the last big push into depression was her actions), I’ve tried for years, and I’ve been lucky to have a wife (girlfriend back than) who is as supportive as she is. I don’t think I would made it without her ♥

When we became a family in 2013,I’ve started visiting a psychologist to dive head first into my issues and face them, and 3-4 years later I was able to think and talk about what happened, what I am, how I feel without struggling with the words.

Mind you, the depression is there, but how I handle it, and how I use the energy behind it is very different compared to few years ago. So here it is. Under 9⃣0⃣ kg means a theoretical milestone, of which means that the majority of the hard part is behind me. I’ve been fighting with myself for a while to reach that point, and I’m almost in tears doing so.

Still a long way ahead to reach my target (under 85 kg, add another long distance triathlon to the completed list, and learn how to be a real dad to my kids) but probably the hardest part is behind me, so time to focus on the long run from now on, not only about to live another day.

Thank you for the reading if you get to the end, you, and all the online community have a part of this recovery.


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